Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
