im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Pooping to opera.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
