Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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