This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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