I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize