Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
