after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize