At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
