fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
