Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I puked a lego.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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