I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
