I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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