I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we made out on top of his cat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
