I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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