I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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