Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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