My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just invented taco cereal.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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