That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
bring money and cleavage
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize