I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
