just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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