At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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