sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
