He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Holy shit dude........stairs
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