No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
