I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
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I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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