There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize