He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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