if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
