How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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