He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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