Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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