This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
