dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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