In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
