I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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