and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
