How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
