i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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