I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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