Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
