No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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