He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
