I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
