i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
