Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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