throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
