My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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