Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
