fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
