Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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