ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
