Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize