so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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